E3younAlbak

Sala7

2006-04-23T20:12:00.000-07:00

wow. i don't even know how to begin talking about this... i went for a walk in the park with my dog this evening and met someone i would have never imagined meeting in my life. he was maybe 10-13 years old and his name was Sala7. when i saw him, i immediately knew he was 3arabi. he came running to come play with my dog, and i spoke to him in arabic. this little boy's picture will remain imbedded in my memory for the rest of my life. Sala7 came to america 3 years ago, when the US army brought him over after he "played with something he shouldn't have" the civilian family he lives with that sponsers him was telling me, as he was playing with my dog. Ana 3iraqi he told me, gabel talat sneen saar feeyi accident. he has no eyelid on his left eye. and his eye was wounded, he had such deep scars all over his face, his right eye was permanantly bruised as was that side of his face. his left arm had 2 mis shaped fingers on it and no palm, and his right arm ended at his elbow. discribing this little miracle doesn't do the image i have so vividly imbedded in my memory any justice. Sala7's brother was 16 when he was killed as he and sala7 were playing outside of their house in the midst of the war, they picked up something that was dropped by a helicopter that turned out to be a bomb of some sort.. i don't know really. all i know is when he was playing with my dog, he was so happy begging the man he lives with to buy him a dog, he also was telling me that he wants a motorcycle but they won't buy him one... and when i said well that's a good thing, because they're not safe, he said what about an atari, don't i deserve an atari? i looked at him with tears wallahi tears welling up in my eyes and said you deserve the world honey. i have seen pictures of war's children, but i have NEVER in my life seen one in front of my eye and touched one let alone hugged one. when he gave me a hug i didnt want to let go for the life of me. i wanted to take Sala7 and protect him from all of the ignorance and intolerance and hatered that fills this world. i wanted to be his body guard, his soul guard, his protector... i told dan, the man that takes care of him where i work and asked him to please bring him buy so i can see him, you know a66amman 3ale.. Sala7 will always be on my mind and it makes my goal even stronger, which is to go work for peace in war torn countries of the middle east. think on it.

one.

2005-12-22T01:37:00.000-08:00

i know it's so 1990 and 1998, but tonight i watched 2 movies for the first time ever, flipping back and forth during commercials. i watched Pretty Woman, and City of Angels.
what fabulous movies, i'm telling you, i'm not much of a movie fan, because so many of the ones i end up seeing just suck, but these two were amazing, pretty woman was fabulous, but the one i was most fixated on was city of angels.

the story the music the words the imagery - absolutely amazing. i cried so hard and smoked so many cigarettes to calm down. i mean really he said all he needed was one touch to make becoming mortal worth it how serious is that?! my favorite scene from pretty woman was when he took his shoes and socks off and walked barefooted in the grass. just to feel it. my god. just to feel it, i love that i thought it was just a e3younalbak thing to do!

then seth jumps off a building in city of angels so he can become a human, and has one amazing night and when she gets in the accident the next morning, and dies, he was ok. god i would have been torn to shreds. ugh and then when he went to the store and buys the living shit out of pears because thats the first thing she discribed to him. heartwrenching. let me tell you what - that movie kicked my ass.

i have very strong emotions that i get overwhelmed with when i hear the goo goo dolls song that is a part of the city of angels soundtrack. it means so much to me and is one of those songs that discribes so well the feelings i once carried so strongly. i remember going to a street fair the goo goo dolls played at about 7 months ago, i pushed through the crowd to try to get close to the front praying that they would sing my song, when they played their last song, and i didnt hear it i was upset, as i turned to walk away they played it as their encore song. its so powerful to me, if played in full without interuption, i could cry for hours. ugh absolutely amazing. what a powerful night.

Reem Bandali

2005-11-22T00:55:00.000-08:00

ok remember that singer back in the late 80's early 90's Reem Bandali?? i have been trying to find out about what ever happened to her for a while now, for a long time i didnt even know her name... so i want to know everything you guys remember about her... if anyone can find me a picture of her or song clips that would be great... or like a "whatever happened to her" story. i would love it... i remember hearing her songs when i was a little girl... so tap all your sources and help me answer these questions because i want to tap into some childhood memories...

...Ghassel wishak ya amar bil saboone wel 7ajar...

cranky

2005-11-04T13:07:00.000-08:00

i hate 3Eid in America. i can't stand it, there's nothing to do, its just another 3 days... where's the spirit where's the fun??

this is my first 3eid without my friends and family so im a little cranky.. all my friends here are Christian arabs, and that's not the same, theres a few muslims but they're with their families... i hate this.. i have never spent 3Eid in the middle east bas im sure it's alot different, at least you see it, smell it, and feel it.. not like here... where no one gives a damn but the masjid folk... and honestly i am truly convinced that 80% of them are just there to be seen... i don't even know anyone at the masjids here, i miss my drama filled masjid where i knew everyone and knew all the drama to stay away from...

ugh i feel alone

:(

taggeddd

2005-10-19T12:06:00.000-07:00

once again, i got tagged.

Seven things I plan to do:

1- Move to Kuwait
2- Finish college
3- Travel
4- Pack so i can move (im moving tomorrow and haven't packed a single thing)
5- unpack everything soon so the house wont be messy for long
6- get all the extras so the house will be completely ready... ie a mattress
7- ummm work with ISM

Seven things I can do:

1- ride roller coasters all day and all night without throwing up
2- make friends anywhere i go
3- make an enemy anywhere i go
4- walk alot without complaining
5- Eat, talk on my cell phone and drive all at the same time.
6- perfectly bring an idea to paper/computer screen
7- get my way 99% of the time

Seven things I can't do:

1- write/eat with my right hand
2- definitly can't drive a stick.
3- be fake
4- be ignorant
5- stand stupid people
6- be cold hearted
7- be quiet

Seven things I say most often:

1- wallahi?
2- Absolutely!
3- You know what i mean?
4- 'E3younalbak' don't play..
5-Don't play me!
6- that's riiiyyyeeet
7- no,you shut up your face

Seven people I want to pass this tag to: eeh whoever feels like it

wow

2005-10-12T01:39:00.000-07:00

i cant believe its been almost a month since i last updated my blog...

ive been so busy with school then i got a job then i quit it, its been hectic here lately... i withdrew from 2 classes after the time they gave us to drop the classes so they got counted as withdraw/fail which dropped my GPA down to a .7 yes 0.7 so i had alot of drama at the school because of all that... i've had practically 0 internet access so i havent been able to post. they gave me unlimatums in order to stay i have to make a b in every class, if i get a b- in any of the classes i get kicked out. if i miss more than 3 days in each class i get kicked out. i have to meet with my advisor once a week to show her where i am in my studies and let her know whats going on in my life.. and if i dont show up to the meetings i could get kicked out. i had so much going on last quarter that i had viable reasons to drop the classes but unfortionatly did it a day too late... so ive got to focus this quarter. so im under an enormous amount of stress because of it.

on top of that, ive also been sick and moved, and now its time to settle down and focus. no partying for me this quarter lol some new girls moved in and they're dorks. ya3ni sorry bas they are complete losers. one of them follows me everywhere and does not shut the fuck up. she talks nonstop and every sentance starts with 'that reminds me of...' DID I ASK YOU WHAT IT REMINDED YOU OF?!?!?! DO I LOOK EVEN REMOTELY INTERESTED??? HELL THE FUCK NO! i'm moving out on the 20th. so i have to be patient until then. i came home after class today.. mind you i used to live upstairs and moved to the downstairs room with my best friend 3 weeks ago, and they've been here 2 weeks now. the kitchen and living and dining room are downstairs. i came home after class today, and one of the loser dorks was making pork flavored ramen. DISGUST ME PLEASE. MAKE ME THROW UP EVEN THO I'M FASTING, PLEASE!! and they have this habit where they bolt the doors shut. if i have groceries in my hand and am trying to balance them, let me unlock the bottom lock and push the door open. dont piss me off by bolting the door shut. they dont understand the meaning of 'we dont share food, period.' and DO YOUR FUCKING DISHES they're all about 18. its their first time away from home. i dont give a fuck. grow up. and clean your shit and stop following me EVERYWHERE! if im in the bathroom which, mind you, is IN MY ROOM using the bathroom or taking a shower or washing my face or whathaveyou, i find one of them either knocking on my door or calling me on my cell phone, or waiting at the door for me to get out just so they can follow me. i was reading a blog earlier, one of them was sitting on MY BED, uninvited, reading the blog. GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY BED AND OUT OF MY GOD DAMNED ROOM!!! GET THE FUCK OUT!!! shit! ugh. i cant wait till the 20th, i have 3 tails here and they follow me everywhere. and i hate it.

and lately my life has been so shitty and boring that ive been watching movies. yes me, e3younalbak, watching movies. its not normal. ive had no energy to do anything. i watched stigmata today, which is great. and i watched girl interrupted. girl interrupted is a very, hmm how do i put it, disturbing movie. it shows how sick people in this world really are and how many random problems people go through. it really bothered me.. its about 2 am and i cant sleep because of it. it really bothered me to this extent. i need to go out. i need a fucking night away from my tails and with my best friend, and my shille of friends to party and have a damn good time. i cant deal with this bullshit routine thats chock full of nothingness anymore. its really fucking with my head. and i dont do movies... why am i watching movies?!?!?! not normal. im frustrated.

note to self...

*Friday am- illustrator picture due (done/saved in email)
*Friday pm- 3 Advertisements due for 'adobe fonts' (done.)

*Monday- nothing due

*Tuesday- 5 examples of marketing materials from local museums
8 ads for products that would appeal to 18-30 year olds (done)
10 African Penguin illustrations due 'create an alternative way of seeing the animal'
Find fonts for the museum (done)

Try to work on the project, --due in 2 weeks--

2005-09-15T01:11:00.000-07:00

If i was Queen of this night, would you be my King?

i love this song so much.

2005-09-15T00:53:00.000-07:00

She said

"don't, don't let it go to your head

Boys like you are a dime a dozen,

Boys like you are a dime a dozen"

She said

"you're a touch overrated, you're a lush

and I hate it but these grass stains on my knees they won't mean a thing"

And all I Need to know

Is that I'm something you'll be missing

Maybe I should hate you for this

Never really did ever quite get that far

Maybe I should hate you for this

Never really did ever quite get that...

I'd never lie to you Unless I had to

I'll do what I got to

Unless I had to I'll do what I got to

the truth is you could slit my throat

And with my one last gasping breath

I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

And all I need to know

is that I'm something you'll be missing

Maybe I should hate you for this

Never really did ever quite get that far

Maybe I should hate you for this

Never really did ever quite get that...

Cause I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions

This'll be last chance you get to drop my name

Cause I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions

This'll be last chance you get to drop my name...

If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar

If I'm just bad news, then you're a liar

If only you knew half as much as you pretend to

*taking back sunday - you're so last summer*

made me laugh my ass off

2005-09-14T03:14:00.000-07:00

this is how u know you're arab...

1) You have 500, 000, 000 cousins
2) Your father swears at you with words that effect himself
3) You refer to another Arab as "cuz" or "cousin"
4) You refer to an older Arab as "Ammo" or "Auntie"
5) Your family is over your house all the time
6) There is no such thing as quiet time
7) Going to church/masjid is a fashion show
8) And a free brunch
9) You've seen a belly dancer at least once in your life
10) You have at least 4 kids in your family
11) Three or more relatives live in your neighborhood
12) You gossip about your own family...with members of your own family
13) You use church as a social ground to meet potential wives/husbands
14) You get really happy and call the whole family to the room when there is a special or documentary on Arabs or anything Arabic related on CNN
15) You get pissed when an Arab is portrayed as a terrorist in a movie
16) You go to an Arabic restaurant, tell the owner you're an Arab, and expect to get free food
17) Your middle name is your father's first name
18) You have a difficult Arabic name to pronounce so you come up with an Americanized version of it like "Sam" or "Mike"
19) You own and/or play a tubleh
20) You play cards till the break of dawn
21) You know what happens when you eat too much Moujadra, Hummous, Tabuli, and Kibbeh 22) You act like you want to pay, but in reality you hate to pay
23) Your favorite food is wara 3anab
24) Your parents drink Turkish coffee like 20 million times a day
25) You can't have a meal without Arabic bread
26) All the grocery stores and gas stations in your city are owned by relatives
27) You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live on them
28) You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup
29) You would never call it Pita Bread
30) You use Arabic bread as a utensil
31) You've heard Amr Diab's "Ya nour el ein" 764363 times in your life
32) You know what the debki, a hafli, and a derrbakki is/are
33) Your aunt asks you if she can dance at your wedding
34) Your parents say "estob" instead of "stop"
35) You teach your American friends Arabic words (mostly bad ones) and get happy when they use them in normal conversations
36) You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has any Arabic blood in them
37) You can't help but laugh when you hear the word "TEASE"
38) At least 1 conversation a day is about being ARAB
39) You have at least 1 picture/object resembling a camel in your house
40) You think anybody who is not Arab is Harram
41) You know there is another meaning for ''kiss''
42) Wearing a leather jacket during the summer is cool
43) Your parents own or have owned a Lexus, BMW, or Mercedes
44) People just don't understand that carbonated yogurt is really, really good
45) You've been to at least one Arabic concert
46) ...and have danced so much there you must've lost more than five pounds
47) Your favorite sport is soccer
48) You have the Arabic satellite
49) Your "goodbyes" take an hour
50) You hug and kiss relatives you've never met

hahahahahahaha that is the funniest thing i have ever read....

i can relate to about 99% of those :)

driven

2005-09-05T12:16:00.000-07:00

have you ever woken up completely driven?

that's what happened to me this morning... i was rudely woken up... which for the record I HATE especially if you're going to force me to wake up then cancel the plans completely... i was woken up for a meeting about a shirt i'm designing for a club at a university here... of course 3arab, don't know how to properly set up or schedule a meeting so right when i was showered dressed and ready to go, they flaked on me. n/m we're gonna have it over the phone tonight. damn you're telling me you woke me up for nothing??

so i sit outside and look at the sky, which normally is foggy as shit, and it's a clear day. it's georgous. blue skies all around me. i have to grill out today. i checked my bank balance, and i have sufficient funds for a cookout. so i'm driven to grill out today. khalas. i have put my mind to it. so i'm gonna do it... DRIVEN i tell ya, DRIVEN! so yes im on my way to the store to get groceries for this.

im a simple girl.. i was driven to 'play' yesterday so i called up my friend and he had the same energy. so we jogged in the park then walked then went to a playground of sorts. couldnt find a basketball so instead of just leaving we took the initiative to go and have fun, relive our childhoods, so we played on the swings hahaha sooooo fun. and on top of that? i kicked his ass on the swing yes that means i ''got more air'' then him. i swung higher. i am the murjay7a queen :)

Tagged, sorry it took so long...

2005-08-29T23:31:00.000-07:00

10 years ago: i dropped out of 3arabi school hahaha

5 years ago: hmm... i was going through a 'seriously rebelious' stage

1 year ago: i was making plans for my life... plans that eventually fell through.

Tomorrow: i have to get to campus early to work on about 4 weeks worth of homework assignments lol i am such a procrastinator!!

5 snacks I enjoy: i cant believe you're a lemon and salt snacker too janjoonnnnnnnnn!! lol ask donnyboy... he can vouch for me, im obsessed. i love chocolate covered salty pretzels... fresh fruits, and an occasional slim jim... or 20..., chips and fresh salsa

5 bands/artists that I know the lyrics to most of their songs: Amr Diab, Shereen, Bashaar Al Sha66i, Miami, Ehab Tawfiq

5 things I'd do with $100,000,000: invest half, give a quarter or the remainder to help build a masjid, use 2 quarters to help out my family get completely out of debt, send money to Palestine, build my dream house.

5 locations I'd like to run away to: KUWAIT, Italy, Spain, St. Thomas, France

5 bad habits I have: I'm a smoker, i don't trust anyone, i have a very bad temper, i don't sleep enough for fear of missing out on something... can't think of a fifth one...

5 things I will never wear: Shorts, a 2 piece bathing suit, spandex, velvet, and those damn heels yall were talking about

5 TV. shows I like: F.R.I.E.N.D.S., Dave Chapelle Show, Simpsons, Desperate Housewives, King of the Hill

5 people I'd like to meet: Donnyboyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!, umm... my soulmate... can't really think of anyone else... other than a hot straight kuwaiti guy in 'a dress' in this city... yea i cant think of anyone else really.

5 biggest joys at the moment: the beach, the marina, going out whenever i want-wherever i want 'my freedom', depending on myself, and my friends

uninspired, inspire me

2005-08-24T16:19:00.000-07:00

mmmm i've been sick and uninspired lately... i'm in the midst of self discovery or rediscovery lately... i dunno what i want... i dunno when i want it, i dunno how i should go about getting what i want... i need a freakin break! my friend emailed me yesterday, hes stationed in Afghanistan right now, and hes having a hard time, he wants to come back home poor kid... i sent him a recent pic of me showing him changes ive made... weight loss, hair style, just general changes his response to that was "your new look..... damn ......damn. theres not much that i can say, other than your dangerous." hmmm... thanks, i think? lol i dunno here's to me having a brain fart with nothing to say... what do you guys want to talk about... here's a free pass... talk about what you want... make it a question answer session... ask what you want :P

My hard work, my housemate's project.

2005-08-18T01:21:00.000-07:00

A wedding invitation. 2 weeks to do it, i get stuck doing it while she works on something else... Details of the picture... to the far left:: my bed sheet hahahaha also used as drapery for picture and as a 'table cloth' Bottle:: hand written names of bride and groom. on an empty Corona Bottle. Cork:: from a bottle of Merlot, fresh flowers. Far Back:: Paper grocery bag. directly in front of grocery bag, a hand made stamp... beside the stamp, the tool i used to carve out the leaf from a block of linolium. Center of table:: Invitation, it would be rolled and put into the bottle hence "message in a bottle theme"

The keys to my heart...

2005-08-14T23:40:00.000-07:00

I took a little blog quiz about the keys to my heart... you can find it here ::

http://www.blogthings.com/keystoyourheartquiz/

these are my results... what were yours?

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

...

2005-08-12T02:52:00.000-07:00

my teeth hurt...

my wisdom teeth are ripping through my gums... so my teeth hurt. not only that, but when i brush my teeth, they bleed really bad... they're swollen... i guess its cuz of my wisdom teeth??

the house smells like pure spray paint.... i have a headache from the smell... i'm going to kill my housemate.

i just washed a load of clothes... its 3am.

my teeth hurt.

I WANT A HUG TOO DAMNIT!

2005-08-09T22:32:00.000-07:00

i want someone to hold my hand, and take me out, and keep me warm, and randomly give me a kiss on the cheek, and stare into my eyes... i'm dying to have plans with a boy who wants to take me out, show me around, sit on the beach with me, watch the sun set and rise with me, hold me... to wrestle with me, to have a pillow fight with me, to fall asleep watching a movie with me, to play footsie with me during dinner, to rub my feet when they're cold, to pinch my pudge... give me a massage... to make me laugh, to watch the stars with, to go for a walk with... to chase around the house, to take a nap with, to pick a flower from the street for me... to watch me sleep, to smile when he sees me. to make me smile when i see him... to lay in bed with... to care damnit to just care... that's what i want... but all i need is a god damned hug. i don't like being single. :(

holy shit.

2005-08-09T00:48:00.000-07:00

i don't know what to do about this...

yesterday i was talking to one of my roomates, she hadnt heard from her boyfriend in 3 days and kept trying to call him... she also told me that she used to cut herself when she would get upset, so i talked to her for 3 hours on why she shouldn't do that and that no guy is worth it and blah blah blah...

today i come home to change my clothes before going out, and i go to brush my teeth... the girl went to her cousin's house and spent the night last night, out of the city. so i hear her say e3younalbak are you there? i had heard her running up the stairs but wasn't sure who it was... i said yea im brushing my teeth, she said can i come in? i thought to the bathroom?! ummm ok. so she came in. she said um i got a cell phone, keep in mind this girl just moved to america less than a month ago, shes asian. so i said that's good... so did you talk to your boyfriend? she said yes hes been cheating on me the whole time. i said what? are you sure?! she said yes his girlfriend called me back, he left his cell phone at her house. so i said oh god... i was at a loss of words. then she said i cut. i said you what?!?! she slit her forearms, both of them from her wrists to her elbows. she was wearing long sleeves and when i looked at her arms, i noticed that they were thick from her elbows to her wrists, and the shirt she had on was very thin... i said pull up your sleeves. so she did, she had them all wrapped up, it looked so professionally done. it scared the shit out of me. i said let me see your arms. so she moved the bandage... diagonal cuts down her arms. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!?! i called the other housemates and told them about the problem at hand... we were supposed to have a house meeting at 11pm, and talk to her about it, but when we got home she was sleeping. how do we bring this up... im not even sure if i should let it be known that the house knows about it, i mean she came to me, but if you do something like that, somewhere obvious, and then tell someone about it, you're asking for attention... right?? if you didnt want anyone to know you would hide it wouldn't you?? i don't know what to do, i've never dealt with anything like this in my life.

Peter Jennings...

2005-08-08T00:50:00.000-07:00

I took a nap on the couch after i got back home from shopping, and woke up to the news, i heard peter jennings's voice, i adore this man, so i turn towards the TV, only to see his picture and the year he was born then -2005 i was shocked... squinting my eyes to see if i was just seeing things or what... i broke down crying, i grew up watching this man, he was the best news anchor ever, i mean he was always on the TV while i was growing up... i called home and woke my poor mom up to tell her, as i cried. (she's used to it, she knows im emotional as hell.)

Peter Jennings, was a high school dropout, who busted his ass and made a name for himself in a land that wasn't his own. Peter Jennings was my hero, i loved him, he lead such an amazing life. he was a world news anchor on ABC news... he was so intelligent masha'Allah 3ale... he made sure to show both sides of every story, he gave his life to report major events in the world to the public... I remember the week of September 11th, he was the only one i would watch report the news, for a straight week, he was so real, so natural. He even got close to breaking down on national television when his kids called to check up on him.

To read more about Peter Jennings' life, go to http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=1015438

Allah Yer7amo. i, for one will definitly miss his voice and his truth. :(

I NEED ADVICE

2005-08-04T20:24:00.000-07:00

OK... A post on not without my heels's blog made me think about this.. again...

so i decided to blog it out for yall and get some thoughts out of yall on the subject...

when i was in kuwait, i asked a car beside me for directions, it was the day of your 3eid el watan and there was a roadblock on my way home. I didn't know where i was at so i asked the guys in the car beside me how to get back to the highway in english. they thought i was just some random kuwaiti girl trying to hit on them, until i showed them my passport. they caught my eye because the passenger wanted to spray me with the saboon, but the driver wouldn't let him, so i picked up about 8 bottles of saboon from my pasenger's seat and showed them and we laughed... so i asked. we made a U turn and pulled over so they could understand my destination and lead me to the right area of the country..

*are yall still with me? passenger- lebanese, driver- palestinian. keep this in mind. *

ok so i pull over, this happened 3 days before i was to come back to the states.. and we talked. they came to my car, i had the window cracked and talked to them that way, they introduced themselves. i said listen. i know im american and all but i've learned your little games. your name is not such and such, and your name is not such and such.. to my surprise they pull out their id's and the names they gave me were their real names!! one point for them. next, my dad calls... i was going back home to pick him up so we could go to his family's house, he didnt want to go, and told me i could stay out. so i said heck yes. alright, i told them nevermind i dont need to go back home. my friends in america are all guys, they have been for 99% of my life, so i know a man's mind pretty darn well... i can tell a person is bullshitting me from 50 miles away... i was so comfortable with these 2 guys that we ended up going to their stores, right down the street, the lebanese guy needed to close his store down. so i followed them with my car and we went inside. thee lebanese guy introduced me to his dad, and showed me both of his stores, and the palestinian showed me his store as well. it was nice. in the lebanese guy's 2nd store, i met the syrian. also their best friend. i went outside with the palestinian and we went for a drive while the lebanese guy and the syrian closed the store down. we talked like we had known each other for ages and that was soooo nice. we go back and get the other car and all meet up at a restaurant (me, leb, syr, and pale...). we sit in the restaurant and eat and talk for HOURS... time flew that night. we go outside and it looks like fajr. the sky was sooo bright, they said nawwarti liq8 ya e3younalbak... it was amazing. they follow me to my house as to make sure no one messes with me on my way home. i go to my room, and smile until the next morning. i couldn't sleep that night. all i could think of was sub7an'Allah!! how could i meet people so randomly and feel like i spent my whole life with them in a matter of 4 hours?!?! i was so happy. the next morning they picked me up. it was about 12 in the afternoon, turns out not one of them could sleep that night either. we went to a restauraant at around 1:30 in the afternoon we sat outside on the patio, had lunch, talked, laughed and played lu3bet el sara7a... it was the best time i had ever had. that afternoon, it rained so we, instead of doing what normal people would do and leave, we relocated to inside the restaurant, we left the restaurant that night at 10 pm. we went gizzing and sprayed people and laughed and sang and danced in the car. they took me home. the next day i spent it with my friends and family, and met up with them at about 6 pm, they took me to get last minute things my mom asked for. next day i went out with my friends and we met them for lunch (the picture i have of the food on my blog, that's from that lunch.) we sat and talked and laughed as usual but it was a sad day, i was leaving that night. i went to the airport and they surprised me there. i cried so hard that night. we took so many pictures and even made little video clips on my digital camera, and their cell phones, so when we miss each other we would be able to hear and see each other moving around... they made me little music videos where we would be sitting in the airport and they would sing to me and i would video clip them singing. when i got home, in a matter of about... 4 months i spent over $500 in phone cards calling them. the palestinian was in love with me, the syrian started a new business, the lebanese guy was in thailand i would call them and they would call me, we would see each other on the net and chat for hours, i would stay up all night, and so would they. we were always in touch...

here's the problem.

the palestinian started acting very shady. he was moving to jordan. so he told his parents about me and they said hell no she's american (tho my family is palestinian and i fight my ass off for my country, i'm an activist...) and he took that and didn't fight for me.

the lebanese guy called me 15 times one morning and i was asleep, when i woke up i freaked out thinking something was wrong so i called him and had to force the words he was holding back. he loved me. and he was wrong for not telling me from the beginning. i said ok?...

then what happens... the syrian, who was the only one who would give me insider information told me that they were at the ahw2 one night and the palestinian told the lebanese guy that since his parents refused the idea of him and i being together, he wants the lebanese guy to take over. because 'we don't want her to go to waste'

*so just a recap in case yall didn't get it. the palestinian tells me he's not interested in marriage per his family's wishes, i hide that from the boys, the lebanese guy tells me he loves me, i think he means it, so i take it and run.*

alright... so we're still on the same page here. so... i talk to the palestinian online one night and hes like i dont like how you have your picture on your msn buddy list. i said listen palestinian... first of all you're not my dad, you're not my brother, you're not my boyfriend or my fiance or my husband and you're basically wasting my time. ana 7urra. i'll do what i want. you call me once in a blue moon and waste my time. i dont need you, i don't want you.

i tell the boys.

not knowing that they're all in on this whole sittuation thinking that the palestinian doesnt know the lebanese guy told me he loved me, even tho they had all planned it together..

here's the irony.

palestinian starts talking shit about the lebanese and syrian guys and about me, apparantly he got jealous that the lebanese guy told me before he told him he was going to tell me... so he starts trash talking us all even tho it was his idea and even tho i knew nothing about the whole sittuation.. they get pissed off, they go to beat his ass at the ahw2... next thing i know i get a phone call cussing me out telling me i'm a bitch and i was nothing to them and to never talk to me again, using very vulgar language, god knows what was said that night

from my understanding of the sittuation the palestinian planned my future without asking for my permission and feelings, tricked me, got pissed at the lebanese guy when i told him i was interested in him too.. they get pissed at each other and then blame it all on me. as if i was doing something wrong. and made it seem like i was trying to break up their friendship even tho i didn't have any intentions of doing so what so ever.

they broke my heart that night.

i still hurt sooooo bad from it, and all i want to do is go back to kuwait and go to the lebanese guy's store and standing face to face with him and making him explain himself..

i never loved anyone as much as i loved these guys, i loved them like brothers i loved them more than i loved anyone in my entire life, we were sooo close and they fucked me over. the sad part is? i still miss them so much, i havent tried to call or contact them since they did that to me, and when i miss hearing their voices i play the video clips, and cry. i want to confront them and let them know how i feel. i want them to understand that they hurt me. that the palestinian lied about me to them, that i never did anything wrong, and that i know the lebanese guy decieved me, and i still don't know if he ever really loved me or not. i want to corner them and make them talk, without being able to block me or hang up on me, i want to be face to face with them and get answers. i don't care about the palestinian, i miss the lebanese guy and the syrian. the syrian was like my brother. and out of everyone, when he cussed me out, it shocked me the most.

:S

2005-08-03T02:15:00.000-07:00

hmmm...

i went outside to smoke my last cigarette for the night before i went to bed. i was on the phone with a friend i will call 'friend S' talking about my night last night, and my pent up frustration and the like... when out of nowhere i hear 6 gunshots. it freaked me out!! 'S' did you hear that?! i screamed what the hell is going on over here?! a minute later 6 cop cars zoom down the street, with their sirens on full blast and flashing lights.. another minute later a fire truck and an ambulance zoom down the street... with flashing lights, wailing their sirens. i'm standing there freaking out. this is happening in my neighborhood. what the fuck is going on?! this shit's scary. it's 2:21 am... i dont want to go to sleep. i havent slept since i got up for class on monday morning. i took a nap for a couple of hours, but that wasn't anywhere near enough... i walked alot today, i didn't have much of an appetite. so i should be worn out by now. but im not. i think im suffering from insomnia or something. what is the deal?! now there are more sirens going off. and the fire truck is leaving. ok i'm going to surf the net now.

things i miss about Q8, part 2

2005-07-29T01:47:00.000-07:00

-Tche Tche

-KUWAIT MAGIC hehehe i know i know... not the best place, but hey- it was close, and the manager at the sheesha bar was sooo sweet!!

-Grand Cafe

-GIZZING!!!

-The HOT Q8i guy in the Porsche who's number i accidentally deleted when messing with the phone at the airport before i left the country... :( !!!

-The Hilton

-3agad... yes i know la hal daraja... i even miss the damn 3agad!!

-3emaret el Ma7ameed (note to those of yall who are mit7ajabeen, i bought tons of hijabs for my friends from the guy downstairs at 3emaret el ma7ameed, he's got nice hijabs and amazing prices... and hes cute. 'shinu tabeen ba3d?!')

-the random camels in my back yard

- the prices of everything!!

-being treated like a queen because i'm American

here are a couple of pictures i took in Q8...

<--- i look at this picture when im hungry... Grand Cafe ( grilled boneless chicken)

things i miss about Q8, part 1

2005-07-27T14:29:00.000-07:00

-Kababji!!
-Knafa :(
-Malls everywhere
-Dishdasha, Gatra, basically traditional male dress and hat thingy
*who says a man in a dress can't be sexy hehehe*
-Gizzing :(
-Kuwaiti Accent!

Full Time Boyfriend Opening

2005-07-27T01:04:00.000-07:00

Please Apply for Full time Positions
Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Astrological Sign:

1. Why would you want to be my boyfriend?:
2. What are your hobbies?: 3. Favorite bands/Artists?:
4. Boxers, briefs, or whitey tighteys??:
5. How many pillows on your bed?:
6. What do you do for a living?:
7. Do you snore?:
8. Which side of the bed do you prefer?:
9. Favorite color?:
10. Do you have any special talents?:
11. Whats your favorite place to eat at?:
12. Do you smoke cigarettes?
13. Do you play any sports?
14. What do you like to read?:
15. Can you cook?:
16. What are your favorite movies?:
17. Do you get emotional during sad movies?:
18. How many guys/girls have you been with?:
19. Are you religious, if so what religion?:
20. Are you a dreamer, or are you down to earth?:
21. Are you spontaneous?:
22. Would you rather stay in or go out?:
23. What do you feel is the most important part of a relationship?:
24. Do you kiss on the first date?:
25. What are your thoughts on sex?:
26. Ever had a one night stand?:
27. Do you have any piercings/tattoos?:
28. How do you feel about drugs & alcohol?:
29. (pop quiz) = I'm going out with old friend (a boy).. what do you do?:
30. I cancelled our date to go out w/ "the girls". How do you feel about that?:
31. Favorite place to shop for clothes?:
32. Do you drive/what do you drive?:
33. Can you drive stick?:
34. Have you ever cheated?:
35. Whats the most important thing to you right now?:
36. Are you the jealous type?:
37. We're walking down the beach at night. What happens next?:
38. Do you remember all of the small things?:
39. Do you believe in love at first sight?:
40. How do you act when youre pissed off?:
41. Are you the type to give the silent treatment, or would you talk things out?:
42. Why'd your last relationship end?:
43. Here's your last chance... impress me:

:)

2005-07-25T01:45:00.000-07:00

man i love this place :)

i went on an adventure yesterday with a person i will call "Friend A" to the rose garden, then to another garden across the street that was basically sections of plants divided by countries from around the world... that got me to thinking, maybe the reason i love flowers so much is because there aren't many back home?! lol i have come to the conclusion that due to the fact that there are a lack of flowering plants back home, it made my female ancestors want them, and that longing for flowers was passed down through my genes and made me love flowers. i mean if you want to make me smile, that's all it takes. even if you pick it from the ground. i don't ask for much. lol we then missed the bus and found ourselves at the bridge. so we got off and walked the bridge, took hella pictures and had a good time. my night consisted of a few games of pool at an irish pub down the street, then meeting some friends to go for a night walk, we've been doing that alot lately. today me and "Friend A" went on another adventure, we went on a hunt for a restaurant that sounded fun from her 'little black book of things to see and do' we got lost, so we gave up and went to a mexican restaurant and had an awesome meal. we got home and basically spent the evening here, me and the girls were going to go to the beach and make a bonfire, but it was too cold for that tonight, and there was a ton of fog... maybe tuesday night? or friday after the club... that'll be fun. so we spent the night trying to get the X-Box to work. yes 6 girls 1 X-box and it doesn't work lolol so we watched fuzzy 'not cable' TV, drank virgin strawberry margaritas and took and gave advice on random topics.. it was fun for a slow night at the house

E3younAlbak

Sala7

one.

Reem Bandali

cranky

taggeddd

wow

i love this song so much.

made me laugh my ass off

driven

Tagged, sorry it took so long...

*uninspired, inspire me*

My hard work, my housemate's project.

The keys to my heart...

...

I WANT A HUG TOO DAMNIT!

holy shit.

Peter Jennings...

I NEED ADVICE

:S

things i miss about Q8, part 2

things i miss about Q8, part 1

Full Time Boyfriend Opening

:)

uninspired, inspire me